Yesterday was one of those dreaded raining days.
Chilly, wet and dark. As the drops of water quickly rolled down my window, I had that reoccurring thought. The one I’ve had ever since childhood.
I Imagined God sitting in the heavens weeping and the rain being his tears. All the while, I look outside to a less than perfect day, and inward to a less than perfect self. I start to cry and my tears roll down my cheeks in sync with my creator’s.
In that very creative brain of mine, I imagine the big man upstairs crying with me. Other people may explain the weather literally as condensation. I on the other hand, see an opportunity to daydream. At that very moment, I hope he’s sympathizing with my fears and sadness. That he shares my pain because he cares. The drops outside get heavier and so do my tears. I close my eyes and say a prayer for peace. A request for myself and on behalf of those dear to me.
By the morning, the rain ceased and so did the tears. I believed he heard my sorrow, because there was a time of calmness. Little did I know, It was a the calm before the storm. This late afternoon, I looked outside my window again. There are no wind gusts and not a single drop of rain. The only tears falling are the ones rolling from my eyes. I held and rubbed my heart as if to comfort it. Then I said to myself,
“Are you there God?”
After some meditating, I decided I wasn’t going to lose faith. “This too shall pass”, I said to myself. After all, I can’t see the whole picture (or the entire world from HIS perspective). I was expecting the rain, or (better yet) a neon sign with a huge arrow pointing to the way out out. Then I asked myself, what if someone else is waiting for the complete opposite as sign? I can’t be selfish, a control freak, or narrow-minded to put the highest being in a small box. Maybe I don’t literally see his tears, but I can remember his profound presence in my life. Maybe the place I’m in, is not where I want to be. All I can do is try to continue walking. Walking forward. One foot in front of the other. Step by step. Believing there is a reason for everything. Even if I don’t understand it at this very moment.
According to the Good Book, I have this promise to hold close to my heart:
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God…” – Rom 8:28
I also found this quote about bitterness, losing and love to be quite inspiring:
Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet. – Marianne Williamson
With deep sentiments,